An Aburame's Mask 徳
by Fae's Redemption
Summary: Oneshot behind the scenes of Virtue. Trigger warning for depression and anxiety, rated M for dark themes. Shugaku Fluff (shina/fugaku.)


_Authors Note: So...I don't know why but I got the sudden urge for Shina/Fugaku angst. This is an omake from 'behind the scenes' of Virtue. _

**TRIGGER WARNING: DEPRESSION, ANXIETY**

* * *

"What the fuck are doing?"

I looked up from my computer, hitting the spacebar and pausing the episode of Naruto I was watching, looking to see who my mother was talking to. We were in our living room, it was March, and I was failing out of high school. My mom was sitting on the corner of the couch, her elbox resting on the arm, a glass of what looked like water in her hand ( I knew better though.)

She looked me in the eye and I flinched. I'd seen that emotion in her eyes before, I'd seen them in everyones eyes. Too many times, I saw iris' clouded with the same thing. _Disapointment_. I chewed on the inside of my cheek.

"Nothing?"

She snorted and my grip tightened on the edges of my computer.

_Oh god, oh god..._

"Hah! Yeah, you got that right. You're not doing anything. You never do."

I swallowed back the venomous words I wanted to screech in the back of my throat. _You're a failure, Charlotte. Everything you touch gets fucked up. What kind of person are you? Who would want you around? _my self hatred pooled together as I struggled to fight off the dark thoughts but who's fault is that? its your fault, mom.

Of course I didn't say that. I didn't say anything.

My finger inched toward the keyboard. I just wanted to hit play and put my other earphone in, I wanted to pretend that my mother wasn't sitting five feet away from me and trying to figure out why I was so fucked up, I wanted to live in a world like that. Where things like chakra existed and characters like Naruto were real.

Her crystal clear eyes locked on my hand and I froze.

"You're not normal, you know."

She's just drunk, Charlotte. She always does this. But even that didn't comfort me, because I'd been drunk before, and many of my friends had stumbled towards me with faces full of tears, spewing things that I never should have heard. Liquor induced nothing but the truth, and I knew, the next time I saw her sober, the next time she was making grilled cheese like it was nothing and asking me how I was doing, I would remember her exact words. She was always thinking that, I didn't doubt it.

_You're not normal you know _I reached for the water bottle next to me and took a long drink, to avoid speaking, if that was what she expected from me.

My heart was heavy with grief.

"When I was your age, the laws were proper. When I was your age, the children were respectful. Damn if I ever dared act the way you do towards my father, I'd get the belt. Now its illegal for a parent to discipline their children."

"Why aren't you like the other teenagers? I mean you're not getting good grades, shouldn't you atleast be out there getting drunk with your friends, partying, actually experiancing something? You're failing at everything, literally, Charlotte."

This time I couldn't clench my teeth hard enough to cage in the words.

"Except being a mom. You seem to have that covered."

My mother leaked killing intent and the minute the words left my mouth, regret curled in my stomach. She didn't get up, she didn't move, she placed her drink on the table and let her head sag into her grip. The guilt overwhelmed me, it was so strong I could have thrown up. I didn't say I was sorry though, I was too stubborn for that.

Beisdes, the words rang true.

"What do you care? You have that new mom, isn't that right, Shina? I'm sure she hates you as much as I do."

My eyes flew open and my breath caught. _Oh_. I watched as a tear hit the tabletop in the darkness. I'd fallen asleep during class and had a nightmare, it seemed. I wiped my cheek and the table off, standing up to rush out of class right when the bell rang.

When I got outside the door, I took in a breath of air and stumbled through the horde of children, searching for somewhere I could hide. However, hiding in a world full of ninja was hard. Especially when your best friend was an Uchiha who started stealth training before he began at the academy.

I don't know how long I sat there and just cried, curling up into a ball on the floor. My eyes were clenched shut and I couldn't open them out of fear, as my kikaichu had leaked out of me during my rapid emotional decline. The cloud of bugs settled over me like a really itchy blanket. When I reached to scratch, a hand caught mine.

My eyes sprang open and my breath caught as I was met with the unfeeling expression of my favorite Uchiha. He didn't speak and neither did I. He just hugged me, and I knew he was just a kid, to him I was too, but it still meant the world to me. I tugged on the end of his bun out of habit.

"I'm sorry you're sad, Shina" his voice was made out of stone, revealing nothing.

I let out a hiccup.

"Fugaku...you're my best friend" I cringed into his shoulder, my voice sounded horrid. Like I had strep throat or something.

He didn't say anything afterwards but he didn't have to, that was what made Fugaku the best. He didn't mind silence, and neither did I. Usually, in the dark, when I was alone, my thoughts were sceaming at me, but not this time.

I could breathe when I was with Fugaku.


End file.
